Monthly Archives: July 2013

Just a bit of a rant

This work we do is not for the faint of heart.  There is support by like-minded groups and individuals but these are the people that understand the issue of child sexual abuse.  They have a frame of reference.  They’ve been abused as a child or have witnessed the devastation first-hand.  They know how complex the relationship between an abuser and child can be.  That it takes much more than teaching a child about good touch vs bad touch.  They understand that children are not responsible for thwarting the cunning ways of the pedophile.  These are the people who understand what happens if a child does not disclose or are not believed if they do.  They know how to react to disclosure.  They know how to watch out for the children in their community.  These are the people who refuse to turn their heads away from this ugly topic and acknowledge that it is a HUGE and COMPLEX issue that warrants the attention of every single adult.

Sadly – these people are not enough.   We keep preaching to the choir.

What we need is a way to get all the others…the silent ones, the ‘it doesn’t affect me’ ones, the ‘it can’t be that bad’ ones to pay attention……to learn the facts….and then to take action.

If only.  If only I could drag every person to a workshop to learn about child sexual abuse and how to prevent it.

If only.

What a difference it would make for the children in our world.



Your Story

There have been a surge of child sexual abuse stories coming forward over the past couple of years.  Speaking tours are being booked and books are being written by survivors and this is good – very good.  It’s important that these stories are told and that we not continue to allow the silence that has long surrounded this topic.

There is also a bit of a dilemma with this.  The stories that get the attention are the stories of celebrities and people with the means to hire marketing and PR agencies to promote them.  I will not take away from this – and I think it is amazing and wonderful and I am grateful for their presence…but here is the dilemma – they are not ‘everybody’.

Lately I have had a number of people come to me to tell their stories.  I am always honoured when people feel comfortable sharing, sometimes for the first time, what happened to them as a child who was sexually abused.  The problem is that they feel that they are not victorious as they are not ‘super successful’ as defined by society.  They have managed to overcome incredible challenges and move on to live lives full of purpose and meaning.  They contribute to society in many ways and yet they do not feel they do enough …or are enough.

It is VITAL that every survivor of child sexual abuse not feel that their story is diminished in any way.  Each story has merit and is worthy of being heard, acknowledged and honoured.

I invite you to share your stories with me.  Whether it’s one page or hundreds.  Send them to  With your permission, I will publish them here in a special series.  You can use your name or ask that it be published anonymously.  If all you want to share is a sentence – that is fine too.  Whatever will help you to feel that you have been heard.

I look forward to hearing from you and honouring your story.