Sometimes I’m not ‘ok’.

Sometimes it hurts so bad I wonder how I can get through another day.

Sometimes I feel so alone.

Sometimes I think I don’t belong on this planet, that I am just too ‘weird’ or ‘different’.

Sometimes I wonder if ‘he’ ever thinks about what he did to me.

Sometimes I wish I knew where ‘he’ was so I could scream at him and hit him.

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

Sometimes I have horrible panic attacks and I am sure I am going to die.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be completely ‘over’ this.

Sometimes I wish I could love myself just a little bit more.

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be the woman who was able to loose her virginity to a man who loved her and cared about her.

Sometimes I feel so much shame and disgust that I can’t even look at myself in a mirror.

To anyone who has been sexually abused as a child – let me know if you sometimes feel these things.  And then – together – let’s remind each other that we can sometimes feel these things but that they do not need to be our ‘all the time’ feelings.

One thought on “Sometimes…..

  1. You wrote that on my birthday Thank you. I feel all those things and a million more as you do. I sing songs, I listen to gospel music, I write poetry trying to explain where we are, where we’ve been,and explain so people don’t have to be afaid of us, or for us to fear ourselves any more. I triy to generate love for a few people that have touched my heart beyond, that d on’t even know me. But I choose to love them anyway. with all this , there are days I feel that I fail miserbly at it. I have to choose what Gods said, if we put our heart out and into it ,he will take the load, and carry us forward..Pleae forgive me if I come across as ignerantt or self-righous. I never want to hurt anyone that way. Rest gently please. Dusdty

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