Shame

You lower your eyes as if that very act will hide you from view.  You turn from the goodness that is being offered.   How can anyone want to be your  friend…want to know you….want to love you?  What happened to you leaves you feeling so ashamed. You feel tarnished. Unworthy. You separate yourself from others before you have to bear witness to their discomfort or embarrassment when faced with the facts of the abuse.  You can almost feel their revulsion.  You feel such shame.

The fear of rejection is so painful and yet you are rejecting yourself when you feel ashamed.

It is time to stop. Shame is what your abuser should feel. Not you.

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4 thoughts on “Shame

  1. darkside54 says:

    Something to remember is that we all are capable of receiving love always. That hasn’t changed. What has changed, is one’s perception of one’s self. Allowing love in requires understanding that you are not to blame for what happened, and that you are loved by many.

    The shame should be borne by the one who caused the pain and years of suffering. Not the victim of the assault. Survivors are just that. Survivors. Those survivors I know, are very worthy of love and acceptance. They are strong, resilient people who want nothing more than to live normal happy lives. It’s just a matter of recognizing that, and allowing yourselves to move forward towards understanding that you are deserving of love, trust, respect and happiness.

  2. […] I feel so much shame and disgust that I can’t even look at myself in a […]

  3. […] journey.  I was terrified, feeling desperately alone and felt I had no right to anything beyond my shame.  When I first read it, I was doubtful that I had the right to ANY of this and yet I kept […]

  4. […] disclosed – it was 42 years after the first instance.  FORTY-TWO YEARS of carrying so much shame and self-loathing.  Years of functioning but not living.  Years of numbing pain with cocaine and […]

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