You lower your eyes as if that very act will hide you from view. You turn from the goodness that is being offered. How can anyone want to be your friend…want to know you….want to love you? What happened to you leaves you feeling so ashamed. You feel tarnished. Unworthy. You separate yourself from others before you have to bear witness to their discomfort or embarrassment when faced with the facts of the abuse. You can almost feel their revulsion. You feel such shame.
The fear of rejection is so painful and yet you are rejecting yourself when you feel ashamed.
It is time to stop. Shame is what your abuser should feel. Not you.