Lately I have been overwhelmed with a number of personal and professional things. Some good, some not so good. When I am in the moment of the experience I sometimes find myself reverting to old coping behaviours. Stress and exhaustion seem to derail me and it’s so easy for me to beat myself up. The problem is that when I beat myself up for being human, it doesn’t do anyone any good, especially myself.
I started to reflect on this again today as I just finished annoying someone I was trying to help. Help was not asked for nor really was it needed. Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply just let someone express…listen and then let them be. I KNOW this. Intellectually I get it. And yet, I continue to insert myself and try to help when really they’d just rather I left them the hell alone to work it out in their own way and in their own time. (and yes…possibly come back and ask for help) But oh no…I get it in my head that I am going to ‘fix it’…make everything better. When I finally drive the person to a total state of frustration, I am crushed. That little girl inside who wants so much to please and be good surfaces.
It’s a good reminder to myself that rest and self-care is really important as we heal. Heck – it’s really important ALL the time. When I am at my best, I respect other peoples boundaries. I am a very good friend. It is when I put myself second that all hell breaks loose inside of me and that does no one any good. Especially me.
Thankfully my friends know about my abuse and the consequences. They put up with my occasional childish ways.
Can you relate to this? What do YOU do to take care of yourself?