I’m really fortunate. For whatever reason, I have had the fortitude to face the pain of my past abuse and do the really hard work necessary to create a new life. I will not gloss it over. I will not make light of it. I will not ever fault anyone for not moving forward. It is the hardest work I have ever done in my life. I had some great support and the means to afford some of the required therapy. Many do not. I am so grateful to be well on my way to that place beyond survivor to that of thriver.
About 7 years ago the situation was very different. For the majority of my life I lived a life of extremes. My treatment of self so completely opposite my treatment of others. Self was destroyed at every opportunity. Self-hatred piled on high. Self- mutilation in physical and psychological ways that leave me wondering how I am still alive. To the world I was caring, warm, self- confident, generous and a ‘delight’. (a word used often on my report cards) The shame, the guilt, the burden of secrecy I carried almost killed me many times over. I lived in fear of being ‘found out’. Afraid that if anyone knew what I was really like that they would soon be gone. I lived a life in full view of others but in complete isolation.
My heart breaks when I think of how many people have not been able to break out of this cycle. Given that 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 6 boys under the age of 18 are sexually abused – that means a lot of half-lived lives. We need to stop this from happening. We need to help survivors.
Take 22 minutes and watch this video You will hear survivors of childhood sexual abuse tell their stories. You will leave having ‘met’ some heros of mine. You will leave wanting to do all you can to help support survivors and to prevent another child from being abused.