When I allow myself to stop the conflicting noise and voices that tend to chatter away in my head, I get to a place where something stands out. When I listen to that ‘something’ it is usually a valuable gift. A lesson that I need to pay attention too. Sometimes I wish the damn ‘somethings’ would hit me hard on the head over and over again till I ‘get it’ but then I guess that would defeat the whole purpose. One must travel along the path. Anyway, that ‘something’ that’s been at me lately is seeing and accepting reality.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I would focus on the ‘if only’s and what if’s’. It was a way for me to buffer the reality of what was happening to me at the time. Through the years, this thinking was continued when my father moved far away basically abandoning me and as I endured abuse in all its forms from a number men in my life. I had to create these alternate possibilities that were more appealing to me than the situation I was in at the time. It was another way of coping.
Today I can no longer work with that. I simply MUST accept things exactly as they are even when they are not what I want. This does not mean that I have to give up on the occasional flight of fancy. One should always have daydreams and hope. It does not mean that there are some things that I can not change. What it means is that I need to remember that reality is there. Reality is a TRUE and meaningful experience. And you can create a reality that is magnificent.
The serenity prayer comes to mind. Say and repeat as required.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.