Monthly Archives: May 2010

Trippin’

Sometimes a memory just sneaks up and grabs you.  No rhyme nor reason.  A smell…a sound…a certain touch or look.  It trips along and comes to visit.   Tonight I had a memory that filled me with shame.   It sneaked into my consciousness and tried to seduce me.  It wanted me to stay and spend time with it.  The shame memory wanted me to give it my full attention and wallow in it.  There was a time when I would allow myself to stay in the pain.  Sometimes for days.  Sometimes for weeks.  And yes, sometimes for years.

How wonderful to have come to a place where now these memories no longer pull me down.  In a paradoxical way I have found that by allowing myself to acknowledge it that it no longer has a grip on me.  I let feeling surface.   I let it linger a moment or two and then I watch it go.

I no longer feel the need to DO anything with it.  I watch it.  The drama long gone from my reality.  No longer a need to dwell in shame or pain.

My trippin’ is happy now.   A light dance through time and space.

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