I am so tired but I can not turn my mind off. Thoughts are racing and scurrying through my brain like hamsters spinning in a wheel. Thankfully the thoughts are good ones. A lot of energy and purpose.
These days of being true to myself are good. These days of learning how to ‘be’ and setting appropriate boundries are good.
The years of solitude and angst …the years of suffering quietly…the years of feeling unworthy…feeling small…inadequate….full of shame. Those years are gone. I can let them go now.
There will be no more self abuse. There will be no more selling myself short. I have worked so hard and journeyed to places so horrible and vile within myself. I have hated and angered and lashed out and mutilated every part of me….no more. I have discovered the woman that I really am at my core.
Who I am is strong, brave, confident, loving and generous. I am real and honest and open. I am full of life and adventure and curiosity.
So screw all the bastards that have selfishly manipulated and taken for themselves. All the pricks that said I was not good enough. I know better. I no longer have to stand before you and scream. I no longer have to defend myself. I no longer have to hide the goodness of me.
My abuse does NOT define me. It is a part of me but it is not who I am.