There is a beautiful gift we are given as human beings. That is the gift of choice. I made a choice a few years ago to do the work I needed to do so that I could move forward with my life. And not just a ‘life’ but a wonderful, happy, joyful life. That meant I had to face a lot of deep and buried pain and speak of the abuse. I lost a job, lost some friends, lost support of people who mattered to me. I shook up the status quo. There were very few people who wanted to hear my voice. After all, it made THEM uncomfortable.
What happened to me at the hands of my perpetrator was horrible. From the age of 5 onwards, there was not a single day that I was free from what that person did. That first act caused a chain reaction of repeated abuse by many. I became a textbook case of what happens to children who are sexually abused. Not a particularly easy read. But it is what it is and it is DONE. PAST. It does not mean I have forgotten. I choose not to ‘live’ from there.
There is a beauty and wonderful gift that has come from my life experiences. I have come to see that I am a remarkable person. Since freeing myself, I am now able to let the child inside have life. She is free now to experience pure joy and love and wonder and awe. When combined with the wisdom of my years I find I have a very unique perspective. And just by simply BEING, I allow others to be. People tell me they feel comfortable around me. They tell me that I help them to see themselves. That I am a light…a warm energy. What an awesome gift that is!!! I can think of few things better in life than to be true to oneself and through that allow others to realize themselves.
Imagine if I had allowed my voice to be silenced. If I had folded up and stayed in the safety of darkness. If I had let the opinions of others keep me from my path. If I had continued to allow that first act of violence to cloud my life. If I had made the choice to continue to be a victim.
I chose wisely.